Becoming Parents

Subject: Becoming Parents Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:59 pm

I'm interested if anyone wants to share their stories on becoming parents. Any difficulties with fertility. Childbirth stories. Any difficulties with your child(ren)s health. Maybe anyone would like to share some of the personal growth you felt you've undergone just by becoming a parent.

My daughter was born at 33 weeks because I had severe toxemia.. I had to undergo an emergency c-section. She was 3lbs 12 3/4 ozs. I had to be confined to my hospital bed with an IV for 3 days after she was born and was unable to see her unless they brought her to me for a few minutes at a time. Then when I was released it was traumatic to leave her at the hospital for 2 weeks until she could come home at a glorious 4lbs 4oz. She didn't require oxygen in the hospital but she did require a feeding tube. She had breathing problems off and on for the first year and she met all of her physical milestones late, i.e. rolling over, crawling, walking, etc. She's still a little slow on her motor skills but you would never know she was a preemie.

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Fri Jul 18, 2008 8:45 am

Alrighty then. I guess I'll just talk to myself in here.

Does anyone else find that they're overprotective of their child? I mean, I take her to the park to play and I not only don't let her out of my sight but I usually sit down right near the playset she's playing on and watch her like a hawk (or buzzard). But then I see other parents who could care less. They either don't watch their kids or they never leave the pavillion that's like 30 feet from the playground.

Also, there are these kids in my neighborhood that are just running around in the summer after dark and they can't be older than 8 and they have no adults with them. And I see these 12 year olds driving golf carts around the neighborhood too and I'm thinking well parenting has just all gone to hell because I wasn't allowed to do that kind of sh*t when I was their age. My parents wanted to know where I was, how long I would be there, who I was with, when I would be back and there had darn well better be an adult involved until I was 16. I just don't get it. Do these people want their children to be kidnapped, molested, and murdered?

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Fri Jul 18, 2008 9:26 am

Christian was born 2 weeks early, no biggy. He had pretty bad colic, so finding a formula for him was a pain in the butt and expensive. He had to have Nutronigen.

We've been real blessed that he hasn't had any issues and so far no injuries despite his addiction to doing stuff as dangerously as possible. I think out fortune so far has to do with the fact that I am like Heather in that I am an overprotective parent. We let him do plenty of rec stuff, but I watch him and let him know when he is doing something where he could get hurt.

I agree that parenting has gone to hell for the most part. I'm not a big fan of letting Christian stay the night with other kids unless I know the parents share my parenting views. The last time he spent the night with some kid, he came home and told me how the parents gave them a bunch of firecrackers and bottle rockets and sent them outside. They were 8 at the time. Call me a wuss, but I think that's retarded.

I've seen a lot of what you are talking about over the years, especially coaching soccer. Parents will drop the kids off and come back an hour later. I always want to be there. Most of the time if he is playing at a playground or something, Karmen or I will play with him. To be there to watch him and just to play with him. That playground at the zoo is extremely fun!

I don't think we are too overprotective. Christian is very brave, climbs trees, can shoot a bow and arrow and has bb guns, paintball guns, a 4 wheeler, loves to jump off 7 ft fences. He's active in martial arts and very active in soccer, I'm just not going to let him run crazy with no supervision. I will let him do dangerous stuff, but I want to supervise him and show him how to do it right. I saw him climbing the fence next to our house and knew it wouldn't be long before I heard footsteps on the roof. So I let him get up there and taught him how to do it properly (we had to get some toys off anyways) and then I told him if he ever got on the roof w/o me watching I would bust his ass into the afterlife.
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Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Sat Jul 19, 2008 9:33 pm

Heather, I am finding out how alike we really are. I delivered Larkin at 32 weeks and 5 days. I don't know the reason why though. She was 3 pounds and 10 ounces. She was perfectly heathly though. She spent 3 weeks in the NICU unit to get bigger. She lost down to 3lbs. 4ozs. so we had a long road ahead to get her to 4lbs. 3ozs., which is big they have to be before they will send them home. She did experience Acid Reflux pretty bad when she was about 2 months and it ended suddenly at 4 months. (Thank God for that because I had to do the Hemlich(sp?) on her twice) Other than that she is doing great. She is 6 months old and weighs 10 lbs 10.5 ozs. A little small but we're working on it.

Also, I tried to send a response about your migraines, but our computer likes to randomly shut down and chose to do it the day I typed a response 3 times so I just gave up. I also get Atypical migraines. The first time I had one they checked me for a stroke. My doctor sent me straight to the ER. I go numb on one side (usually my left) starting with my fingers, then hand. After my arm goes numb, then it moves to my face. The left side only goes numb though. The time before last I lost vision in my left eye as well. I was ticked because I thought something had happened with my Lasik. My husband doesn't understand my migraines because I don't get the really severe head aches. My headaches aren't like the "normal" migraine.

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Mon Jul 28, 2008 11:09 am

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:20 pm

I was so happy to become a mom! I love it!
The only part that I remember that was awful was when I was in labor with my 1st daughter. I was going to try and tough it out, but I was in so much pain I had to have an epidural, but it didn't work. For some reason it didn't do a thing and I was in so much pain I was holding my breath during contractions. The nurses told me I couldn't do that because my daughter was not getting any oxygen when I was doing that. It made her heart rate drop and that really scared me. So I started breathing during the contractions and had to end up toughing it out. Thank goodness I wasn't in labor too long. I have never been in labor for long with all 3 of my daughters.
Jennifer, your little girl sounds like she is doing well. You may already know this, but our peditrician had always told me that by the time a baby is 1 year old they should have tripled their birth weight. So if she was born at 3lbs 10 oz, and she weighs 10lbs 10 oz at 6 months old it sounds like she is doing awesome!

Class of 1998 Joined : 29 Jul 2008 Posts : 4

My son's due date was June 21. I went into the hospital to be induced on July 5, he was 2 weeks late. I had a midwife and let's just say it was not a pleasant experience. I went in that morning at 5am, and they induced me at like 7am. My water never broke, and I went through 20 hours of labor (I had back contractions too which were not fun) before they finally called in a doctor. I ran a fever during this time, and my son was running a fever as well while I was in labor. The doctor took one look at me and called for a C-section. My son was born at 4:11am on July 6, weighing in at 9lbs 7oz and 20 inches. He's still a big boy to this day. Smile

I was lucky in my pregnancy in that I had no morning sickness whatsoever, but the labor/delivery made up for that. My son did not really talk until he was 2 1/2. He's had speech lessons, a sleep study, and his tonsils removed all by age 6. He had some behavioral issues in kindergarten and we have been working on that so I'm hoping that first grade will be better!!

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:59 am

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Fri Aug 01, 2008 5:42 pm

You guys went through some shite didn't you? I sat in a corner playing a video game when the first of the deamon children were born. I counted 4 pushes and that heathen was out and screaming. Kiddo #2 (I call her fat body, although its only her head thats fat) Spat out in 6 pushes. They came out healthy and mildly annoying. They passed all their 1 and 2 year old tests at 3 and 4 year old levels so I am guessing that wifey is smarter than I had originally thought and she can cook hella good. Hoo Rah little heathen children.
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Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Fri Aug 01, 2008 8:03 pm

I can't think of any kind of pain to compare childbirth to. Guys have it so easy.
To those of you who had your kids with no pain medication, you must have a HIGH tolerance for pain. I tried, but I couldn't do it. After all the pain with my 1st I didn't want to go through all of that again.
But once you see that sweet little face that you have been waiting so many months for....its worth it.

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:46 am

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Thu Aug 07, 2008 1:50 pm

When Hannah Jane was born everything went fine, they rapped her up and gave her to me so I just assumed she was fine. We called the family and told them how perfect she was. Then, an hour later they came in and checked her out adn sudenly were like, "Oh, what's this?" She didn't have a complete foot on one side. The midwives didn't kow what it was and were throwing out some crazy ideas and flipping us out. We had to go right then to the peds office (so much for resting after labor) and had to call everyone back and tell them that there was a problem. That was really hard. Luckily, a thousand tests later they confirm that the foot is the only problem and we proceed to deal with that. At 9 months she had a surgery at SHriners to shape the foot for a prosthetic and ever since she's ben just fine.

Obviously that didn't phase us because we went on to have 2 more back to back. Hunter was an easy delivery - 3 hrs. So, I assumed Haven would be easier still. Wrong! Boy has a big head!! I was begging the Dr. to cut me open with no drugs and just get him on out of there. It turns out that his freakin' huge head fractured my pelvic bone on the way out. It still hurts from time to time, but it's mostly fine. Why I did natural labor 3 times I still don't understand.

They were all worth it, but I still feel nausiated when I even watch a movie with a labor scene. It's too soon. That big head traumatized me. He's 1 and his head is bigger than his 4 year old sister's.

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:59 pm

Crazy hippie woman. You figure you would have learned after the first one to take the dope. Just hearing my first one being born was enough to ensure I brought my flask of wiskey for the second one.
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The world is going crazy, I am just cutting in line.

Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Fri Aug 08, 2008 1:52 pm

Well, being a single man w/o children, I have to say I am scared.
I am an Uncle and I love my nieces. But they annoy me. Children annoy me. Everyone tells me it'll be different went they are my own, but I still can't help but be afraid I wouldn't like my own children. Couple that with the fact that all children seem to break their parents hearts in some way. Then add that I'd feel guilty bringing a life into this F'ed up world. ...IDK.

..I know I am just being negative..

Bottom line, it scares the crap outta' me. But I guess it is supposed to eh? ..Maybe that's what makes a good parent?
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Subject: Re: Becoming Parents Sat Aug 09, 2008 10:16 am

I think you are right, David. Being scared means that you care. You can't spell scare w/o care. That was stupid, but I just noticed it. Seriously though, I think it does mean that you care.

As far as other people's kids, yes, they annoy the hell out of me. Christian has a few cousins that stop by on a regular basis and some of them I love, but some of them I would prefer to never see again. Same with his soccer teammates, some of them are great, some of them drive me up the wall. He had this one kid last season that came to practice one day and kept going up to everyone saying, "hey I don't know about you, but it smells like teen spirit to me." he said it to me about three times and I snapped back at him saying, "it wasn't funny the other 80 times you said it and it's not funny now."

As far as kids breaking your heart, yes, I fear that, but I am trying to mix a good level of discipline, morals, love, and friendship into my parenting. I'm trying to find that balance between friend and father, I hope I'm somewhere close. When I tell Christian something or get on to him for something, I never use the "Because I said so" method. I always go into detail about the ramifications of his actions and why what I am teaching him is a better decision.

Trust us, you'll love your kids. I think you'll make a great father.
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